I come in the room in a gown, on a bed, doctors pulling me, and I’m shaking. I threw up yesterday, the day before that, and this morning, but that didn’t stop me. I’m asked what flavor of medicine I would prefer: bubble gum, cotton candy, or mint. Oh great, I get to choose what I taste before part of my knee gets cut off “Bubble gum” I reply. The doctor puts in the anesthesia when my dad’s words ring in my head “See how high you can count to once the machine turns on.” Vroooooom, the machine turns on and I start counting. One… Two… Three… Four… Five… Six… Seven… I’m out and the surgery begins.
I really like this lead because it makes me want to read more. You did a good job of showing not telling also. The line, ” oh great, I get to choose what flavor I have in my mouth before part of my knee gets cut off.” Intrigues me.
This hook is really draws me in to your writing, it has a good voice, and I would read the rest of the paper.